All That Glitters Is Not Gold

OUTFIT DETAILS
Top: Unique Vintage | Pants: Torrid (Gifted) | Shoes: Vince Camuto | Earrings: Baublebar

A couple of weeks ago, I had the privilege of hearing Color Me Courtney talk on a creators call (she is truly a wealth of knowledge and always so encouraging and helpful!) and something she said really struck me: Take what you’re insecure about and amplify it to build connection. I’m paraphrasing here, but it made me think what am I insecure about?

The truth is, a lot of things. To try to narrow it down to just one post is nearly impossible, but here it goes: I’m scared of people not being able to see the real me. I’m terrified of having a bad reputation. I’m nervous something I say will be misinterpreted or misconstrued. I’m worried that my true intentions don’t come across in my words and actions. I’m afraid of being unloved and forgotten - and worse, that I’m already at that point - that everything I’ve done up to this point isn’t good enough to be impactful or remembered. And with the ridiculous amount of people pleasing I’ve conditioned myself to do, the number one thing I’m most insecure of is that I’m slowly losing myself in it all.

I don’t have the answers. I don’t even know if there is a solution. I’ve been doing my best to trek along and not give up but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that social media can be such a mind game. I think if anything it’s made me more insecure than ever before… and I hate that.

But the beautiful things that have come out of it? That’s pretty amazing too. The genuine friendships you gave me, the skill sets you taught me, the brands you gave me the opportunity to work with, the dreams you helped me make come true… I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.

But sometimes, just sometimes, I wish there was a kind of middle ground that didn’t make it feel like I’m constantly in some weird game of tug of war.

xo,
Keshia